Useful Fish Stories

There are two things I don't like about fishing for fun and food in Alaska's seas. I enjoy reading while I'm waiting my turn with the poles (or waiting out the weather), and it's tough finding the right thing to read while I wait. The bounding main is no place to study tough stuff, but a compelling spy story isn't right either---inevitably someone will hook a big halibut just when the fictional spy is in deepest danger.

Then there's the problem of the Mystery Catch. "Yeah," the skipper will say as we con-template a strange scaly beast with a big mouth and a baleful expression. "That's one of your fram-mistated greenocks. Make good eating unless you don't clean 'em right. Had a cat die once after it ate just a bit of greenock liver...Come to think of it, maybe it was a semipalmated greenock that time." Many a Mystery Catch has been returned to the sea after expert advice like that.

I now have a cure for both problems, thanks to Tina Wyllie-Echeverria, a graduate student pursuing a doctorate at the School of Fisheries and Ocean Sciences, University of Alaska Fair banks. She loaned me an extraordinary publication: Probably More Than You Want To Know About The Fishes of The Pacific Coast.

The title may be the only inaccurate thing about the book. It told me exactly what I wanted to know, and in the right level of detail. Although author R.M. Love is based in California and specializes in more southerly fishes, the Pacific is a fine ocean for fish with wanderlust, so many of the species covered in the book appear in Alaska's waters. (One I wouldn't have predicted is the barracuda, which---thanks to this book---I now know ranges as far north as Kodiak.)

Each kind of fish is clearly described; its Latin and popular names, identifying characteristics, distribution, and biological basics appear along with a clear black-and-white sketch emphasizing its distinguishing features. In short, the book fixes my second problem with offshore fishing. As long as my copy is handy, no smartmouthed skipper will be able to fool me with the Mystery Catch.

However, this book has another good feature. Its author doesn't believe that scientists must be stuffy when they're dealing with the public. He even thinks both author and readers should have some fun, though without sacrificing fact.

For example, among the things I learned from the book was why Pacific hake aren't good eating. Author Love explains that their poor quality comes from a tiny parasite that cranks out a flesh-softening enzyme. A live hake metabolizes the enzyme, but a dead one can't; the parasites live longer than the caught fish, so the result is unpleasantly soft flesh in the pan unless the hake is cooked immediately after it's caught. The author can't leave it at that, though. "The parasite is not harmful to humans," he continued, "even if alive, and, of course, if the fish is cooked the parasite is dead. So stop whimpering and eat your hake."

Nothing, fortunately, is sacred to author Love. Discussing salmon, he commented, "Chinooks occasionally mate with cohos (probably causing consternation in both families)." Even when he deals with dangers, he stoops to entertain: "Probably the hippest way to be injured by a local fish is to be shocked by a Pacific electric ray." (Praise be, those rays live south of Alaska---barely.)

There are many worse ways to wait one's turn to fish than laughing and learning all at once. This book solves both my problems nicely. Now, if only someone would write a book as factual and funny about advanced mathematics...